Sunday, December 26, 2010

Thumb or Boob?

That is the question.

I have been blessed/cursed with children that suck their thumbs. Grey stopped on his own around his third birthday. Aubry is three and a half and still at it. No end in sight at the moment, which is the cursed part. I love it that they can soothe themselves especially when they're tired in a quiet restaurant. I’ll take a thumb sucker over a screaming baby any day.



See?


I was about to leave Jude with Geoff for a little while and wanted to feed him before I left. It was time for him to eat anyway and he was starting to fuss. But he had popped his thumb in his mouth and he was happy. So happy, in fact, that when I went to feed him, boob in face, he would not let go of the thumb. I literally had my boob on his cheek and he did not make the transfer. It took me prying his thumb out of his mouth for him to make the switch and be fed.

The thumb is just a substitute for the real thing. It soothes, but it does not, like the boob, give us what we need to have life. We will turn to it to ease our worried minds when the boob is right there in our face.


Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible but not everything is constructive. 1 Corinthians 10:23


There are many ways that I soothe myself on a daily basis. From the outside no one would think twice about them. A drink, wasted time in front of the tv or on the computer, a chat with a friend that could lead to gossip or complaining, 5 too many cookies; not full on addictions, but certainly not beneficial or constructive.

In those times I know that a little time spent seeking Jesus and his ways would do more than soothe me, it would feed me. And yet I hold onto that thumb, tight! My ways are soothing in that moment; His ways give life. It is a choice I have to make. Then I have to be willing to let God pry my thumb out of my mouth. It’s not fun, but it will save my life.

A great book I read called “Addiction and Grace” by Gerald May says that it’s in those moments where addictions are born. They start very small with one drink, or one cigarette, and within a short time you’re regularly turning to that thing to soothe you. Jesus says that he is The Life (John 14:6), and that he came that we may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). Lord, let us turn to you in those moments. Pry the thumbs out of our mouths and give us life.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Finger Shoes

I finally bought the Five Fingers shoes that I've been stalking for the past few months. Had they been purple I would have bought them a while ago, but since they were an inferior color I waited until I could actually use them, being post baby and all.

The guy that I bought them from said that I would need to break myself into them. So I decided to wear them all day today and see how they felt. Ouch. Nine hours later I was hur-ting. By then I was pretty annoyed at these shoes. They look like they should be super comfy and I guess at first they are. Then you walk outside with them for a while, so that you cannot return them, and then they hurt. I know my feet will get used to them but I am sure glad to not be wearing them right now.

I have heard the argument that these shoes are supposed to make you run the way your body was designed to run: barefoot. In doing so you avoid injury and can improve the health of other parts of your body. But it hurts.

Well, that's the idea isn't it? It always hurts. It hurts as you become more and more what you were designed to be. God's "ultimate intention" (great book by Devern Fromke by the way) is for us to be like his Son, a brother to him. I just checked and I have a long way to go. The beautiful thing is that he continually provides ways for us to grow to be more like Jesus. It's how we respond to these opportunities that matters. Do we take the shoes back and opt for the cooshie comfy ones? Or do we hit the trail and know that in the end we will be stronger and more prepared for the next challenge. No pain, no gain. It doesn't get any simpler.

Therefore, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3


Whatever God is trying to work out in our lives by allowing trials to come cannot compare to what Jesus had to endure. He was murdered by people for whom he lived, for whom he sacrificed his life. And his response: "forgive them, father, for they know not what they do."

And I have a hard enough time just respecting my husband, or my children. And I have a hard time giving my time to someone else, forgiving without an apology, allowing someone to treat me like crap because they are hurting, choosing to not be offended by the offensive. In very small ways when God gives us the grace to do these things we are losing our lives, the right to ourselves. And we can forgive as we go, as Christ did. It hurts, yes, but we do it because Jesus did it and for the reason Jesus did it. He did it for the joy set before him; the joy of pleasing his Father. Serious joy comes, I feel it every time. Thank you, God. Most people don't get to the joy because they don't want the hurt. I'll have another helping of hurt, please, because in the end I get to rest in the peace and joy of my God.

So tomorrow I run in my shoes...

Monday, February 1, 2010

Jonah's Prayer

After Morgan gave an interesting sermon comparing Jesus with Jonah I decided to read the book of Jonah. It was only 4 chapters after all. There's a lot about Jonah that doesn't come out in the children's version of the story, which was what I had in my mind. Jonah could not get past his anger at God for having mercy on a culture (the Assyrians) that had been enemies of Israel fom the beginning. He says,

"I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live." Jonah 4:2-3

God said, " Have you any right to be angry?"

"I do," he said, "I am angry enough to die."

And that's it. Those are the last words we hear from Jonah in that book. Jonah had been looking forward to the Assyrians not repenting after he told them that if they didn't God would wipe them out. But they did repent, and God spared them and Jonah was pissed about it. He felt that they didn't deserve God's mercy. And Morgan made the point that we are the same way. We judge people around us all the time and decide when they do and when they don't deserve our mercy for whatever reason. But Christ is always merciful, and so must we be.

Ok, that wasn't really the point of my post but I thought the sermon was really good. If you want to hear it go here. It's especially good for those of us that struggle with compassion. (who? me?)

While Jonah was in the fish for three days he prayed and described to God the depths to which he had sunk and declared that he was turning back to him. In that prayer were these words:

"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." Jonah 2:8

This saying really effected me because in our society we choose to cling to things for security that are not capable of providing it: money/things, relationships, being busy, alcohol, food, etc. when there is provision that is already promised for us. All we have to do is turn to and depend on God for our security and he will provide. And he can provide so much more and so much better than all of those things I just listed. It requires a surrender of control on our part but the reward is so great. The grace is just waiting for us. Consider this:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his child asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish will give him a snake? If you, then, who are sinful, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?" Matthew 7:7-11

It is hard these days to be still and quiet before God to seek him on anything. I find myself filling up every moment of my day, including those last minutes in bed before I turn off the light, reading one more page of my book, half asleep, or playing Scrabble on my phone, anything but being quiet and focusing my thoughts on something meaningful. I think the easiest way to seek God is to read the Bible. Everything is in there. The more you read the more you learn about the nature of God and how to respond to every aspect of life the way he would. The life of Christ, the ultimate surrender, is the best guide. I personally find that it's much harder to be still and seek him from the depths of my heart. But the results are life changing and bring peace that cannot be explained. It's in those moments where you experience God for yourself. No one can ever argue against your experience, it is the truth and it is with you for life.